Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Change

Back to comedy, television, advice, and nonsense tomorrow (kicking it off with an incisive post on porn stars), but on this historic occasion of celebration (at least for me, most Americans, and every foreign citizen in the world) I thought I’d share some Election Day random thoughts. (But come back tomorrow for the porn star thing. It’s pretty funny.)Obama becomes the third black U.S. President. David Palmer and his brother Wayne from 24 being the other two.

A Jew has yet to win for President or AMERICAN IDOL. But a Jew has won SURVIVOR!

Credit where credit is due, FOX NEW’S Brit Hume was extremely gracious. He said this about our future president: “He may be dangerous but he’s likable.”

Nice that my kooky state (California) put him over the top but wouldn’t it have been almost poetic if Hawaii was the deciding state?

I miss Walter Cronkite.

Among the people told that election day had been moved to Wednesday was Katie Couric but she caught her bosses in the lie.

When John McCain is NOT the scariest member of a ticket you know you are really in trouble.

Now I can go to Europe and not have to apologize for being an American.

And I can sleep for the first time in eight years.

And exhale for the first time in eight months.

A President usually appoints those key people instrumental in getting him elected to key administrative posts. Will Tina Fey become Secretary of State or Secretary of Agriculture?

Very classy concession speech by John McCain.

Barack Obama’s speech was stirring and (I’m not used to this from a U.S. President) articulate. It even brought tears to Oprah’s eyes. Glad that Oscar producer Gil Cates wasn’t producing. After 30 seconds he would have started the play off music.

I imagine Hillary Clinton re-enacted the Sean Penn breakdown scene in MYSTIC RIVER. Might be a good night for Bill to crash at a friend’s.

There is life after election for losing GOP candidates. Bob Dole has been the commercial spokesperson for Visa, Viagra, and Dunkin’ Donuts. And of course McCain can always run for president of Second Life.

Joe the Plumber will go the way of Joe Millionaire.

But Sarah Palin will become a pop culture icon like Freddy Krueger, Chucky, and Faye Dunaway.

In L.A. you got “I voted” stickers good for a freebie at Starbucks or a beach ball from the 99 Cent Store. No serious Southern California sports fan would be caught dead at a sporting event without his beach ball.

In Baltimore, voters got a free beer at Todd Conner’s Pub.

But the best perk was -- if you live in New York, Los Angeles, or Seattle, you could have swung by Babeland, a chain of sex-toy shops, where voters received special discounts! (Not sure if that included “Penny Flame’s Guide to Hand Jobs” or “Mr. Bendy”.)

Hey! Bill Clinton called me yesterday! Something about No on Proposition 8. I tried to break in and say hello, ask if he needed a place to stay for the night, but he just kept on talking. I also wanted to tell him about the great deal at Babeland. Oh well, I’m sure he’ll call back tomorrow.

Supreme Court Justices can step down now.

Did you see the CNN holograms? It was like Princess Leia was right there in the studio, analyzing exit polls! Cool!!

The HuffingtonPost can finally devote more time to Amy Winehouse.

I don't have to move to New Zealand now.

On his radio show Tuesday Sean Hannity predicted a big upset win for McCain. It was just the latest in a long line of misinformation he dispenses on a daily basis to his large audience of simpletons and lemmings.

Please let this not mean we see more of Jessie Jackson.

What are the pollsters going to concentrate on now? I guess it's back to FAMILY FEUD questions.

Okay, let me get this straight – Hurricane Katrina destroys Louisiana. Instead of doing anything, George Bush attends a San Diego Padres game. Louisiana votes Republican. Huh????

Maybe now Air America can get on radio stations that have more than 12 watts and aren’t above airport traffic stations on the AM dial.

When Mr. Obama learned that he had won I bet he said the same thing I say whenever a network picks up a television series of mine. “OH SHIT!!!”

God speed, Mr. President-elect. Congratulations, and now Oprah Winfrey doesn’t have to return the dress she bought for the Inaugural. It’s all good.

64 comments :

goodman.dl said...

Louisiana voted Republican in part because a whole lot of African American democrats, who used to live in New Orleans, have left the state.

Anonymous said...

I'd love some enterprising and TV-savvy person to come up with a YouTube video chronicling all the times on television when a statement was made to the effect of "Yeah, that'll happen when a black man becomes President of the United States."

Not me; I'm not TV-savvy enough, and I'm old and don't get all these new-fangled computer moviemaking gadgets. But there must be such moments in TV history somewhere, and I think it'd make a beautiful tribute.

spmsmith

Anonymous said...

I thought McCain's speech was classy also, like now that he didn't have to try and win the Bush Republicans and religous lunatics anymore, he could go back to being the guy he was 9 years ago.

But his supporters remained douchebags to the last. When PRESIDENT ELECT OBAMA mentioned McCain in his speech, he got subdued applause and cheers, but every time McCain mentioned PRESIDENT ELECT OBAMA, no matter how classily, his people booed.

I've been crying since the election was called, and cried all through his speech. I'm not an easy cry. I had to search myself for the reason, and then I realized why: for 8 years I've been deeply ashamed to be an American, as our country became as bad, and sometimes worse, than our enemies. We just weren't The Good Guys anymore. At 8 PM PST tonight, that shame lifted, and I became proud to be an American once again.

And I feel a bit like I felt back in July 1969, when we landed on the moon, that I was living to see a unique moment in history. That was a unique moment in the history of Mankind. Tonight is a unique moment in American history.

And I'd like to thank the people MOST responsible for this victory: Sarah Palin (Exit polls show that she turned more Republican voters who had been suporting McCain into PRESIDENT ELECT OBAMA voters than anyone else.), Dick Cheney (thanks for that late endorsement. It helped.), and the real architect of the PRESIDENT ELECT OBAMA victory, President George W. Bush.

And now a long night to see if Proposition 8 makes me proud of California, or tarnishes the say.

Anonymous said...

I have only this to say: I think 99 cents is too much for a beach ball.

Unknown said...

I noticed when McCain was leaving the stage they play the music from Crimson Tide. How appropriate. An old white man and young black man in an important battle for the safety of the free world. The young black man wins and in the end the old guy retires. Someone thought they were being clever. They were.

Anonymous said...

Does this mean more or less work for Morgan Freeman?

Willy B. Good said...

Good news Ken, New Zealand has just rented your room to Joe the Plumber so your deposit will eventually be returned.

Cheers

Anonymous said...

Get back to us when the Jimmy Carter redux has a few years under it's belt. People may be more hopeful and proud today, but they will be poorer and less free because of Obama.

Tallulah Morehead said...

Carl you dork, we COULDN'T be poorer and less free than we were under the 8 horrible years of Bush-Cheney, the SAW IV of Presidential Administrations, who have bankrupted the nation, both financially and morally. Did you notice the stock market crash and Homeland Security act?

Ferment some wine with your sour grapes, darling.

Cheers darlings (Well, not you, Carl.)

Anonymous said...

Tallulah....Carl is just one of those who will never understand why non-white folk don't feel free to become richer by working as domestic help for him.

Graham Powell said...

The real winner is America: another peaceful transfer of power, ho-hum. In some parts of the world this would be a huge shock.

As a McCain voter, I say to the new President - Good luck, and God bless.

Anonymous said...

I never realized that, Goodman Dl....I may mention that to a twat I know on Usenet who lives down there.
It may explain to him why his expected scenario of:



Katrina refugee trades him domestic service for shelter...and grateful to do so because unlike himself, he/she wasn't smart enough to live out of a flood zone--of course that is to be expected because he/she is not white (or in this guy's case, Catholic).



didn't come to pass, not even with a Republican governor/president

Anonymous said...

Within my lifetime,
- I stood in Memorial Park in Spring Valley, NY with my parents to mourn the loss of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
-Got stopped by police twice for running across the street on green lights (the second time, I was cuffed)

- Coming home from high school, I was stopped by the police and asked whether I was the six foot tall Black guy with a mustache that robbed a woman's stereo and raped her. I was 5'5" at the time, trying to raise a mustache and I was riding home on a bicycle, with a backpack full of books. The officer that stopped me, after questioning me (I don't recall if he ever asked had I SEEN anyone leaving this woman's house) and attempting to implicate an even younger Black kid on a bike, said this to me, "Well, I didn't think you did it. If you got her in there, you probably wouldn't have known what to do with her." How sweet to think that he implied that when I or any man is alone with a woman that it is de rigeur that it's time to attack her and how STUPID I was that I didn't get his name or badge number.

I should have prayed for that woman.

- San Diego tried to change the name of "Market St." to "Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd." and due to public outcry had to change it back.

- A Black man was chained to a truck and dragged to his death. Look at http://www.cnn.com/US/9902/18/dragging.death.03/

- An (almost) unrepentant terrorist killed citizens of his own country and before Timothy McVeigh died he said, ""I am sorry these people had to lose their lives. But that's the nature of the beast. It's understood going in what the human toll will be."

I haven't written a single TV drama or comedy.

My books haven't even flown ON the shelves, let alone off, because I haven't written any.

My sports commentary is largely unheard, save for my barber and my wife (and she knows more about football than I do).

However, I can say that this election meant a great deal to me and I want to be one of the few people to say, "Barack Hussein Obama will be our next president" without ranting about Muslims, terrorism, etc.


My late parents are smiling down, my ancestors are hugging each other and hopefully, the USA and the world will turn a corner and things shall improve.

Or to quote Maya Angelou at Clinton's inauguration:
"Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
Into your brother's face, your country
And say simply
Very simply
With hope
Good morning."

Anonymous said...

Umm, guys. Congratulations from someone on the right. I really like Obama as a man. And I honor this historic occasion.

But cut out this "ashamed to be an American" crap.

We are at war. And I don't mean Iraq. I mean the war against Islamism worldwide. There are people out there plotting to kill every one of us, right now. They are dangerous. They are motivated. And they won't care who is in the White House. And they won't lay down their weapons because of Obama's awesomeness. Nor will they hesitate one moment to nuke a city full of children.

The war will continue, and you better be proud of the men and women who are out there every day in the military and law enforcement working hard to keep you safe. And don't think for one moment that we can let down our guard. And don't give the enemy a moral victory by claiming you aren't proud of your country.

Meredith said...

Oh God, here I've been all weepy and shaky with relief this morning and you really made me laugh. What a terrific post. True, too.

VP81955 said...

Can we say "black" (or, more accurately, "mixed race") when referring to Barack Obama? Remember, Teresa Heinz Kerry (who was born in Mozambique) is African-American, even though she's white, and called herself as such. And a lot of people we would define as "black" have no African roots whatsoever.

Obama's election is a great achievement in America -- not just his multi-ethnic background, but the political obstacles he had to overcome. Remember, 18 months ago the Democratic party bosses had everything in place for Hillary Clinton's coronation. (Had she won the nomination, John McCain chooses a different running mate -- J.C. Watts, perhaps? -- and the election might have been decidedly different...especially since Hillary could not have galvanized youth and ethnic minorities the way Obama did.)

We are on the threshhold of entering a new era in American ethnicity. My mother, a white Brooklyn native of Italian descent, turned 88 last month and was an ardent Obama supporter dating back to the spring. If she can recognize times have changed, so can we all. Maybe even the Republican party, which acts as if Los Angeles was still the bastion of white-bread Iowan and Nebraskan emigres.

But, as I said at the top, that doesn't mean we have to kowtow to PC speak.

VP81955 said...

And just another thing regarding Obama: I live in Virginia, a state that gave its electoral votes to Obama -- the first time a Democrat has won the state since 1964. When Obama was born in 1961, his parents' marriage -- a black father from Kenya, a white mother from Kansas -- was considered illegal in Virginia. How times have changed.

Also, congratulations to California on passing Proposition 1 for better mass transit in Los Angeles. A decade from now, we may finally have that subway to the Westside, not to mention other transit improvements that will make life easier and traffic congestion lighter.

BTW, my word verification is "likabio," which I suppose is a tome on someone you really admire.

michael said...

Ken, what is your reaction to the Proposition for animal treatment getting more yes votes (at least the last time I looked, they are still updating) than either the prposition for children hospitals or veterans aid?

Anonymous said...

I teared up last night at 8pm PST when the results were called. I teared up during President Elect Obama's speech. And now, Brian Philip's comment made me mist up again! We have come such a long way. Let's hope this President really IS a uniter!!!! I have hope for the first time in a very, very long time.

Michael said...

Overheard: The one thing that scares me most about Obama is that, if movies are indication, a black President means we're about to get hit by an asteroid.

I hope Colin Powell gets a shot in the new administration. Had things gone differently he might have been on the Republican ticket instead of endorsing the Democratic one.

On the other hand, I really hope that we do NOT see Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton in the administration.

And would it be too much to ask for the Clintons (both of them) to stay away for the next 4 (or 8) years too?

Anonymous said...

To vp81955:

I didn't know that Kerry was born in Mozambique; thanks for telling me that. Her parents are Portuguese, however. I am not, so I don't know if Portuguese falls under the "White" category; I would argue that it wouldn't.

As for the term "Black", I use it all the time, and verbally, I am not offended by it, but "African-American" and "Negro" have the advantage of being capitalized, like "Caucasian" or "Italian", so as a matter of style, I prefer to capitalize "Black". I also use caps for "White", if I am speaking about ethnicity.

As for running mate choices, J.C. Watts would have been OK, but I would cite:

- He is the founder of J.C. Watts Companies which is attempting to create a news network that will report news from an Af-Am perspective, which may take a lot of organizing in communities

- He was never a Governor, only a Representative.

- "J.C." doesn't stand for anything, and his last name "Watts" seems to date back to Edward II of ENGLAND. Am I the only person who recalls that we fought the English to gain our freedom as a country? Who is the REAL J.C. Watts?

- During part of his life, he didn't even live here, he lived and played football in Canada. Canada has, need I say it, "socialized" medicine.

Who'd vote for a socialist guy whose name implied that he palled around with "tea"rorrists (lemme hear ya, Boston!) and has worked with his community?

No way.
No how.
No J.C.

(I'll work on that).

Donna said...

i miss walter too.

Tom Quigley said...

Anyone checked yet to see if the Fox News Channel has shut down and gone off the air?...

Brian Scully said...

My very first vote for President came in 1972 and was for George McGovern... and if anyone had told me that those same excited, first-time feelings would ever stir within me again, I would not have believed them... but I did feel that same excitement when I voted for Barack Obama yesterday. What an amazing gift to feel like you are 18 again, if even for only a day...

Anonymous said...

I don't get excited about politicians, but Obama's election is definitely exciting from a historical standpoint.

My verification word is "commodo," which gives me an idea for a movie about a baby dragon that gets flushed down a toilet and grows up to wreak havoc in the sewer. With Morgan Freeman as the President, of course.

Tim W. said...

Carl Drega, yes, you are correct that Americans will be poorer in a few years, but that would be the case if McCain were elected instead. You can put the blame for a poorer America squarely on Bush and Cheney's shoulders.

Anonymous, despite what many Americans think, you are not at war against Islam any more than all old Americans are responsible for getting the US into a war in Iraq. America is at war against ignorance and stupidity. Unfortunately some of that comes from inside your own borders.

Anonymous said...

Tom Quigley said...
Anyone checked yet to see if the Fox News Channel has shut down and gone off the air?...

__________________________________


Nope but reading the comments on their website is really funny!

All those people who went ballistic when Bush and Company were called Fascists sure don't seem to think there's anything un-American or disrespectful about calling Obama a Marxist Commie!

One person even tried to pin the current economic crisis on Jimmy Carter! Jimmy freakin' Carter!

Squire McGuire said...

I am never not proud to be an American - you whackos out in LA LA Land really need to get a clue....GO PHILLIES!!!!!

Tim W. said...

Mike D, you're trying to tell me that you were proud when half the country voted Bush in a second time? Looks the people in LA LA Land aren't the only one's who need to get a clue.

Anonymous said...

Being proud to be an American and being embarassed of your leadership are two different things.

I'm with Mike. I've never been ashamed of being an American. I've always been very proud to be a part of this country. But I sure wasn't proud of our leadership over the last 8 years.

I just made damn sure that when I spoke with people from other countries, they were made very aware that I DID NOT vote for King George the Stupid!

Anonymous said...

I haven't seen any news about prop 8 anywhere, so it's probably bad news.. I was expecting huge parades.. maybe they scheculed them after the riots.

Anonymous said...

If America was more of a blogocracy than a democracy then we could just get our administrators to delete the anonymous idiots who say we are at war with Islamism. NO we are are not, we are at war with anonymous faceless extremism which has nothing to do with Islam.

Now we have a leader who at last can convince the world we know the difference and perhaps the world will be more willing to tackle the cause of terrorism rather than the results.

The example of democracy is mightier than any army.

Anonymous said...

From Canada - We have been watching the American elections with far more interest than the recently held Canadian one - mostly because the American election was needed and the Canadian one was premature and pointless.
I am very pleased that Mr Obama succeeded in his bid for the Presidency, and wish him well in a difficult situation. I think the best man won.
The greatest achievement for America, however, will come when race is a non-issue, in politics, the arts, sports, science, whatever. My daughter took great exception to the fact that every single presenter on every single channel had to mention Mr. Obama's colour "like it matters". She has a valid point.

Anonymous said...

But in this case, it DID matter. It mattered because it has never happened before and it was an historic moment.

It should not be an issue when judging his performance over the next 4 years but last night, it was indeed an issue.

Anonymous said...

Joe the Plumber. Sheesh. Everytime I saw him I thought about the best friend of Jim Carrey in the Truman Show who would show up at a moment's notice with a six pack saying "Hey Buddy..." Everyone got the joke in the movie and yet some still fell for him real life.

Anonymous said...

Obama becomes the third black U.S. President. David Palmer and his brother Wayne from 24 being the other two.

A nitpick, Ken, but Obama is the fourth black U.S. president. Tom Beck (Morgan Freeman) in "Deep Impact" was the first.

Everytime I saw him I thought about the best friend of Jim Carrey in the Truman Show who would show up at a moment's notice with a six pack saying "Hey Buddy..."

Same concept, actually. When the show's creator, Kristof, needed to distract Truman from finding out the truth, there was Louis. And with Joe the Plumber, he was called upon whenever McCain needed a distraction.

Anonymous said...

Brian Phillips,

I have nothing as dramatic as your story to share. The closest I can come was my once being arrested walking down Melrose Boulevard in a "gay Cruising" area at 2 AM (1986), on the premise that "there are a lot of burglaries in this area." I pointed out that I wasn't lurking in shadows, but walking down a well-lit sidewalk to a bus stop (To catch a bus home), and I was wearing a suit and tie. "You get a lot of burlars wearing ties?" I asked.

"Hey," the cops said, "A lot of gay sex happens in that alley at 2 in the morning. What if a kid is in a car driving down that alley and sees it?"

I answered that:
a) I wasn't in the alley.
b) I wasn't having sex. And
c) What is a kid doing being awake and driven down an alley at 2 AM? The parents would have to wake them up and say, "Look at the men having sex."

They arrested me anyway, and a friend had to come down and bail me out at 4 AM.

And I woke up today to learn that my fellow Californians had voted in a constitutional amendment REVOKING my civil rights!

When I was 10, I heard my dad's older brother Frank say (and I'm sorry about the language, but these were his exact words) "I'll work with a nigger as an equal, but I'll be God damned if I'll ever work under one!" Frankly, I think exposing me to gay sex would have been healthier than being exposed to Uncle Frank's raving bigotry. (My dad did NOT share Frank's sentiment!) And Frank managed a motel he owned. there was no chance of his working FOR anyone!

In 1962 Uncle Frank ran for the California State Assembly as a Democrat. Fortunately he lost. For the very first time since his death in 1993 I wish Frank was still alive, so I could watch his head explode.

"Anonymous said...
But cut out this 'ashamed to be an American' crap."

Excuse me? I get to have the emotions I have. You don't get to order them. And pride in being an American was impossible for me for the last 8 years, when we have been as bad, if not worse, than our enemies. America, like my parents, has to earn my respect. It doesn't get it by mere accident of birth.

When the election was called for Obama last night, I felt that weight lift off my shoulders, and my pride return, and I cried all through his speech for that reason.

Anonymous also wrote:
"We are at war. And I don't mean Iraq. I mean the war against Islamism worldwide."

No we are not. We are at war with "Terrorism". Lots of very nice Muslims live in the same building I live in, and I have less conflict (in fact, none) with them then I do with my apartment managererss, who voted Yes on Proposition 8.

I personally am at war with "Faith". I am a very militant atheist who believes that Faith will get us all killed, but I am not "America".

And when we are in a wrong war, it is MORE important to refuse to support it, not less. I am not, and never have been a "My country right or wrong" ditto-head. What I believe is right is more important to me than what my government tells me I should think.

And I am not "Anonymous."

"Michael said...
Overheard: The one thing that scares me most about Obama is that, if movies are indication, a black President means we're about to get hit by an asteroid."

You made me roar with laughter.

"Mike D. said...
I am never not proud to be an American - you whackos out in LA LA Land really need to get a clue."

So Abu Ghraib made you swell with teary-eyed pride? Guantanamo fills you with pride? The LA-LA Land is in your head.

Another Anonymous said...
"I haven't seen any news about prop 8 anywhere, so it's probably bad news."

Yes, Prop 8 passed. California voted (By a slim margin) to go with bigotry, and legislate the religious beliefs of some into our state constitution, in a blatant violation of the separation of church and state.

Ken was right that a Jew still can't be president, and a gay person once again can't marry, and a Jewish gay person can't do either, but STAND PROUD of our bigotry America!

Wonder why I am at war with Faith?

But I will not allow this lost battle (The war for equal rights continues) to curdle my joy today.

Anonymous said...

"Rory L. Aronsky said...
A nitpick, Ken, but Obama is the fourth black U.S. president. Tom Beck (Morgan Freeman) in 'Deep Impact' was the first."

A nittier pik, Obama is the 5th black president. James Earl Jones was the first, "Douglas Dilman," back in the 1972 movie THE MAN, written by Rod Serling from an Irving Wallace novel. Yes, the first black president was Darth Vader!

Unknown said...

Actually, the Babeland offer was for a free vibrator or masturbation sleeve. I stopped by and got mine! Awesome deal. (Plus, they got me in the store to buy other things, so good for them too)

Anonymous said...

d. mcewan, don't just stew about it. Donate like crazy to sperm banks and, God willing, give some "yes on 8" woman the gift of the gayest kid she could imagine.

Anonymous said...

A nittier pik, Obama is the 5th black president. James Earl Jones was the first, "Douglas Dilman," back in the 1972 movie THE MAN

Thanks, Douglas. I forgot about that one.

Anonymous said...

I guess so many of us here are pop culture junkies, so here's another observation in terms of that. Back in the early 60's, Rob and Laura Petrie were compared to JFK and Jackie. But looking at Barack and Michelle on stage last night, they sure do remind you of Rob and Laura, too. (Similar physical build, very attracted to each other)

Anonymous said...

I cried a little last night too. Of course I cry a little pretty much every night now that I’m off the meds. But “Marxist Commie” Foxblogging is really kind of refreshing. I was afraid that they were just going to have to stick with “socialist” because the deprecatory “communist” isn’t here to kick around anymore.

Of course McCain’s concession speech was good. He had so much time to work on it. And it is reassuring to the Israel lobby that Obama is appointing a Jew who even other Jews can’t stand as WH chief of staff. (I assume it’s common knowledge in H’wood that Rahm Emmanuel was allegedly the model for West Wing’s Josh Lyman)

But holograms - schmolograms. You had me at the virtual news sets on NBC. After two hours of that, the kids were asking if there really is an ice rink at Rockefeller Center. I can understand Grant Park, but what entitled the Democrats to Times Square? Did somebody call dibs?

Personally, even here in Texas I preferred the Republican watch party at the Radisson, under the old Curt Schilling philosophy that it’s always better to win on the road than at home, because you get to enjoy the sight of 50,000 fans going home demoralized and disappointed.

The good news is that even with a changing of the guard, there’s still proof that regardless of party, these guys will always need writers. Witness, headline below from this weekend’s Dallas Morning News:

Democratic candidate Ken Molberg attacked by pit bull in SE Dallas
09:45 AM CST on Sunday, November 2, 2008
From Staff Reports

Democratic judicial candidate Ken Molberg was attacked and bitten multiple times by a pit bull Saturday while walking a southeastern Dallas neighborhood as part of his party's organized effort to turn out Democratic voters.

Mr. Molberg, a Dallas lawyer who is running for the 95th Civil District Court post, was going door to door on Lake June Road with fellow candidate Judge Don Adams when the attack occurred …. He was bitten on the upper leg and groin. [17 stitches]

"My crack to the family that helped me was that it must have been a Republican dog," [Molberg] said. "[But] I think I got a bunch of votes in the emergency room."


Now even apart from the image of his fellow campaigner attempting to summon paramedical backup on his shoe phone, I know Ken Molberg, and he can be pretty funny. The second line was a little better, but really, aren’t there at least three dozen of you out there who could have come up with something punchier employing a reference to lipstick? The world always needs writers – even if it’s only because somebody’s temporarily incapacitated by excruciating pain -- or morphine.

Since a few have apparently opened the door to local election anecdotes, here in Texas, our Republican Sen. John Cornyn was reelected with generally – and unexpectedly – non-smear TV spots. Actually pretty tasteful after the embarrassing initial stumble with the man literally in fringe and driving a buckboard takeoff on Jimmy Dean’s “Big John.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt05KC3Add8

The two newer BW spots were extremely tasteful, with him musing aloud whilst perambulating among the cattle on the ranch. (The “cow” whisperer?) The successful strategy seemed to be to decry how bad everything’s been in Washington, and hope nobody notices you're running against yourself.

My ever observant wife point out one minor glitch in the background music that apparently escaped notice. The music behind the first was the optimistic “Streets of Laredo,” about a cowpoke dying from a bullet wound in the middle of the street (from an 18th century Irish ballad about a drover dying of syphilis in the middle of the street). The second spot had “The Yellow Rose of Texas.” Well at least that was only about a whore.

P.S. Is it just me, or when Barack flashes just that certain half smile, from the eyes down does anybody else see a touch of, I can’t believe I’m saying this, Gilbert Gottfried?

Megalion said...

One of President Elect Obama's favorite shows is M*A*S*H

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20217406_2,00.html

thought you'd be tickled to know that if you hadn't already seen or heard of it.

Anonymous said...

For those of you not in the know, "Carl Drega" was a right wing wack-job who blew up in New Hampshire back in the nineties, killing a newspaper editor, a district court judge (both of whom violated his political orthodoxy), and two veteran police officers before being gunned down himself when cornered. He was a vicious prick, and using his name is about as tasteless a thing as I've seen on the internet. If some scumbag identifies with Carl, he's really not someone you want in your group.

Anonymous said...

"A. Buck Short said...
what entitled the Democrats to Times Square? Did somebody call dibs?"

Ah, have you ever noticed the political/racial make-up of the residents of Manhattan? Dibs? They own the place.

"A. Buck Short also said...
aren’t there at least three dozen of you out there who could have come up with something punchier?"

Not right after being bitten in the crotch by a pit bad enough to need stitches. Ow.

"Ref said...
If some scumbag identifies with Carl, he's really not someone you want in your group."

I knew he wasn't someone I wanted in my group when I read his sour grapes message.

For any interested, Tallulah Morehead has posted her own reflections on the election over on her blog.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ken:
Great post. I laughed out loud at the part about the Supreme Court Justices now being able to step down. Your blog morphed into Season 4 of the West Wing.

I'm not the first to make this point, not even in the comments to this blog, but I thought it was great to once again see the McCain of 2000.

Anonymous said...

Your blog morphed into Season 4 of the West Wing.

Season 5, "The Supremes."

Anonymous said...

I must admit, the 'Yes' on Prop 8 that your -wonderful- state just offered, however marginal, was a bit depressing. If I recall, this isn't the first time, so maybe it'll be the second time it gets turned over as well.

McCain was indeed classy. The people at the rally were shameful.

And, @ our anonymous friend, I'm sure we'll go to war with 'Islamism' just as soon as it gets invented. For the rest of us, -Islam- is a religion with a worldwide presence, including in our own country. The fact that you exist under the delusion that all Muslims are evil and trying to kill every one of us with nuclear weapons they don't possess (or did you forget the weapons of mass destruction fiasco?) is about the most frightening thing I've heard in months; not just that you would -honestly- believe that, but that there are other people just like you, and just as ignorant. For the record, however misguided this war may be, the 'enemy' is a group of terrorists who happen to be extremists who warp their own religion. Not that good, wholesome Christianity is never twisted in interpretation to justify whatever the hell a person wants. Apologies, of course, to those Christians who -didn't- deserve that; it's just, I can think of a whole lot of Muslims who didn't deserve to be told that they're every one of them a child killer.

VP81955 said...

I don't like saying this, because I don't want to foment any ill feelings between blacks and gays, but in a perverse way, the rise, and nomination, of Barack Obama may have been the worst thing to happen to Proposition 8 opponents.

It's no secret that while most in the black community are politically and economically liberal, there is a great deal of social conservatism -- especially where gays are concerned. (Whether you want to label that discomfort or homophobia is up to you.) Take Obama out of the equation and the percentage of the black vote declines, perhaps enough to reject Prop 8.

To leave on a somewhat sunnier note, my verification word is "dewation." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Elmer Fudd's discussing economics again.

Anonymous said...

Wow! The news just came on. Gay protesters are rioting in Hollywood! Not West Hollywood. Hollywood. Although the demonstrations are in West Hollywood also, the violent confrontations with the police are at Hollywood and Highland. They don't like having less rights than chickens. It's going on at this moment! It's a gay civil rights riot!

Oh, and there's that horrible cunt who ran the Yes on 8 campaign, saying "Why won't they respect the will of the people?" What an evil bitch. Now a clip of Gov. Ahnold saying, "The people have spoken. Now let's move on." What a fool. This is so far from over.

Oh, the bigots decided we don't deserve equal rights, based on their religious delusions, which makes it a clear violation of the separation of church and state. Okay. We'll just be content to be second class citizens.

No more! We're in the streets tonight, and in the courts tomorrow. We've lost a battle, but we will win this war. Equal marriage rights isn't an "If," it's a "When".

Yes we can.

Anonymous said...

To the barricades on Stonewall Drive!

And continuing the theme--
VP81955 said…
… my verification word is "dewation." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Elmer Fudd's discussing economics again.
Beg to differ. It’s obviously House Banking Committee chairman Barney Frank. Who btw may not actually have a speech impairment. He actually graduated the same Brookline, MA high school as Barbara Walters. Tell you anything? And also David Susskind – who adds nothing to this thesis. But a fellow student Mike Wallace may – if his real last name happened to have been “Rallace.”

Anonymous said...

You know Ken, the New Zealand entertainment industry sorely needs you. We're just ... crap at coming up with good local T.V.

Anonymous said...

D. McEwan wrote:

> "Hey," the cops said, "A lot of
> gay sex happens in that alley at
> 2 in the morning. What if a kid
> is in a car driving down that
> alley and sees it?"
>
> I answered that:
> a) I wasn't in the alley.
> b) I wasn't having sex. And
> c) What is a kid doing being
> awake and driven down an alley
> at 2 AM? The parents would have
> to wake them up and say, "Look
> at the men having sex."
>
> They arrested me anyway, and a
> friend had to come down and bail
> me out at 4 AM.


What the hell did they charge you with? Did they actually follow through with it, or was it dropped?

I'll bet they were LAPD rather than LASD, right?

I knew "driving while black" was illegal, I didn't know "walking while gay" was illegal, too.

There was a story about Freddie Prinze getting stopped for speeding some midnight or other -- the cops told him he was in a school zone. He replied, "Officer, if there are kids in that school right now, they're not taking classes, they're taking typewriters." (Which shows you the story is authentic, since he died in 1977.)

Anonymous said...

Re.: Carl Drega

Any jerk who uses that name as a pseudonym to post deserves to be thrown out so hard his ass bounces off the sidewalk.

Here's the "Neutral Point of View" Wikipedia article about him:

And here's part 1 (of 3) of an account by someone who lived in the town and was friends with all the victims. Because his account isn't hamstrung by Wikipedia's B.S. rules requiring fake neutrality, it's more accurate as to what really happened and why.

Anonymous said...

dmcewan wrote:

"I've been crying since the election was called, and cried all through his speech. I'm not an easy cry. I had to search myself for the reason, and then I realized why: for 8 years I've been deeply ashamed to be an American, as our country became as bad, and sometimes worse, than our enemies. We just weren't The Good Guys anymore. At 8 PM PST tonight, that shame lifted, and I became proud to be an American once again."

Okay that made me cry (I have to admit I have been kind of an emotional wreck since Tuesday evening) but OH MY GOD you so nailed it! That is exactly right, I could not stand feeling ashamed of my country - and now we don't have to anymore. We can listen to our President speak and be proud, not embarrased at how he is butchering the English language.
Thank you dmecewan for helping me pinpoint the reason for the incredibly emotional state I am in.

Anonymous said...

" David K. M. Klaus said...
What the hell did they charge you with? Did they actually follow through with it, or was it dropped?

I'll bet they were LAPD rather than LASD, right?

I knew 'driving while black' was illegal, I didn't know 'walking while gay' was illegal, too."

I was charged with - I kid you not - jaywalking. Cost me a bit under $300, and 90 minutes in a cell. It was indeed LAPD.

And "walking while gay" is most certainly a crime in some areas at some times.

I left out (Slipped my mind. I wasn't hiding it.) this exchange:

Cop (While slapping nightstick against streetlamp menacingly): "Why are you walking out here?"

Me (Determined to show that the blatant nightstick bit didn't intimidate me): "Because I can't fly.

Anonymous said...

bill: don't worry, you're not alone. a lot of people would love to be able to "delete" the opinions that they don't like

VP81955: cnn had an exit poll that showed the vote split by demographics, most were split (some 49-51, others 51-49), but the black male and black female were something like 70% for yes.
I don't know how accurate cnn's data was tho.

Anonymous said...

D. McEwan wrote:

>> I'll bet they were LAPD rather
>> than LASD, right?


> It was indeed LAPD.


When I lived in L. A. in the late '70s/early '80s, I remember reading an article which explained why the gay community concentrated on living in West Hollywood.

Daryl Gates' LAPD harassed gay men and women as a matter of policy sent down from his office. Sherman Block's LASD didn't care who you were dating and concentrated on keeping the peace, again as a matter of policy sent down from his office.

The actions of the officers and deputies in the street reflected the attitudes of their bosses. Simple as that.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I know. I lived in Hollywood, not West Hollywood, from 1980 to 1989. I noticed.

Anonymous said...

D. McEwan said...


> Yeah, I know. I lived in
> Hollywood, not West Hollywood,
> from 1980 to 1989. I noticed.


If I came off as condescending, please accept my apology -- that wasn't my intention. It's just that I find it fascinating that the two departments, with identical responsibilities in the same metropolitan area, can have such different cultures simply because one had at the top a man with empathy and the other had a man without.

If I may ask, are things still like that, or have you noticed any changes since any of the number of Chiefs who followed Gates or since Lee Baca replaced Block after Block's death?

Anonymous said...

"David K. M. Klaus said...
"If I came off as condescending, please accept my apology -- that wasn't my intention."

No, no. I was just confirming that you were right.

As for how things are now, it's been 19 years since I lived in Hollywood. I'm in the glamorous wilds of Reseda these days, and gays aren't considered a big presence here. My understanding is that things are somewhat better now, thanks in some part to our Mayor.

Here's a germain statement released today by Lorri L. Jean of the LA Gay & Lesbian Center to those of us participating in the anti-Prop 8 protests and marches which will be ongoing all weekend all over California, though this part of the message is particularly aimed at protesters in Los Angeles:

"The Mayor of Los Angeles is our friend. So are the heads of the police and sheriff's departments (and on those occasions when they don't act like that, we're the first to let them know). But over the last few days, almost to a person, police officers and sheriff's deputies have been extremely patient with protesters, and in many, many instances very supportive of our cause. They have blocked off streets and have tried to do their jobs to protect marchers and to protect the communities impacted. Please, please be respectful of them. If an individual police officer does not behave as s/he should, call our legal services department at 323-993-7670."

Anonymous said...

D. McEwan quoted:

>> "The Mayor of Los Angeles is
>> our friend. So are the heads
>> of the police and sheriff's
>> departments.... But over the
>> last few days, almost to a
>> person, police officers and
>> sheriff's deputies have been
>> extremely patient with
>> protesters, and in many, many
>> instances very supportive of
>> our cause. They have blocked
>> off streets and have tried to
>> do their jobs to protect
>> marchers and to protect the
>> communities impacted.


Wow.

Thanks for the update.

VP81955 said...

You know Ken, the New Zealand entertainment industry sorely needs you. We're just ... crap at coming up with good local T.V.

You're given us Lucy Lawless, which more than makes up for it. (Now if we could only come up with a good non-Xena role for her!)

The verification word is "insitin," a medicine one takes to cause riots. (Must have plenty of alcohol.)